I’ve been trying to research the technical term for fear of eggs. I can’t find it. I assume there is one. There’s a technical term for pretty much anything. Whatever terms the Ph.D.’s coined for the fear of eggs, (egophobia? My computer says no) that’s what I’ve got. Not because I refuse to touch or consume the evil things, I just break out in a cold sweat at the idea of whisking them in any form as a key preparation for a recipe. I’m sorry, but I’ve had one too many disasters in my personal experience to meet this challenge without sweaty palms.
Today wasn’t as bad as past experiences, however. It wasn’t until the last hour of the class when my instructor demonstrated a pastry cream that we had to make that I began the feel the moisture on my neck and palms. The whole process balanced on the edge of knife, leave the mixture one minute longer on the fire than necessary and it’s just the end. Start over! Actually, I was able to keep control of the cream mixture fairly well. It wasn’t until I reached the end stage and looked at the final product that I realized. I had been so worried about studying the steps of the cooking process that I didn’t actually READ the ingredients! I added a whole egg, instead of two egg yolks. Ya. I’m smart like that some times. The cream, while the correct consistency had the color of something my cats might throw up. I’m still not quite over the disdain for myself at not following directions properly.
It has been a major challenge for me to calm down in culinary school. I get so excited and hell bent on proving myself that I loose sight of the actual task and much needed thought processes which just stresses me out more. I’m hoping to improve this as I get more comfortable. Besides, if you’ve ever read Like Water for Chocolate by Laura Esquivel, a bad mood can transfer to your cooking and then you’ve got an entire wedding party running for the bathrooms and then where would you be?!